wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
