Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
