hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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