She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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