My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
