If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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