he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i came on her dog
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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