I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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