You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
