if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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