So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
