So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
