we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize