You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
