3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
