If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
