Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
my liver is dry heaving
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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