Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
