He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
