R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
