doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
