Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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