You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
