She announced her abortion via fbk
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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