I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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