I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
