but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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