ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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