I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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