If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
