Just cropdusted the office
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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