whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
