this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
