i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
