my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
