My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
