im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's just like the Real World with babies
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
