Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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