Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
