you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
