In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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