My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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