You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
