hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
