Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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