my sisters under your porch take her home
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
