At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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