I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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