Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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