I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
