Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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