Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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