just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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