i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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