and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
