i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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