Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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