You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
