We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Actions speak louder than pants.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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