You just made me feel so damn special
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
