I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
