ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
