Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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