i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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